All about Slade - by Sime Sublime.
I'm sure Slade will eventually write a real bio for himself and it will be linked here.
As youâve seen over the last few days, my colleagues have been typical American jackasses and decided to dictate the biographies of others. Now, I just wouldnât be Australian if I didnât suck up to everything America does, so, for your reading pleasure, find enclosed here the life of Slade.
The Child of Morte and a bicycle, Slade came into the world as ruler of a duck pond just out of Paris in the late 1600âs. Here he ruled over his mighty subjects, until they were eradicated by his nemesis, Clover the Cow.
Slade then fled to America, where he found political asylum. Actually, it was more of just an asylum. He lived in a padded cell for an entire centaury, his life being a constant struggle to keep his eyes from being devoured by rats. After his break out in 1990, he released the rap hit âIce Ice Babyâ, which rocketed to the top of the charts and predicted the fall of the two towers in itâs lyrics sleeve(seriously, it did). Saddened that nobody took notice of his prophecies, he remade himself as Pope Sladicus I, and now rules over the nightlifians spirituality with grace and dignity.
Politics: Mallard Dictatorship
Hobbies: Declaring fatwahs on his enemies and growing beards. He has a rather nice collection of beards in the parlour.
Favorite band: Vanilla Ice, regardless if nobody got the message
Titles: Grand High Chumble of Leet and All Around Nice Guy Sir Slade, His Holyness the Pope, Brigadere General in the Lew Gosset Musk Army and High Commander of the Rochester Institute of Technology Legion of Dynamic Discord, Right-Hand Man and Main Squeeze of Eris, Our Lady of Discord, Winner of Fisticuffs, Loser of Love, Lover of Loss and Hot Sauce, Rightful Duke of Bridgewater, and Just Plain Cool.(I had to sort through pages of forum backlog to find those, so you better appreciate it. *waves fist* Appreciate it!
Likes: Ducks, swords, water
Dislikes: Cows and water
Favorite quote: "Aiiee" - Roger Explosion, Secret Agent
Favorite dish: Deep Fried T-Bone Steak
Pets: JM, whom he keeps in his basement and pits him against random buffalo in fights to the death. Tickets are $10, make your payments out to SimeSublime.
(J M's comment) Fun fact: Slade's last request is that upon his death you should tell some random woman that he always loved her.